Ponderings
by arutka2000
Summary: Sasuke thinks about what he would say to the rest of Team 7 if he ever returned to Konoha. During time-skip. Sasuke Centric.


**Me:****For those of you who know me, I don't really like Sasuke very much. At least in the manga. In most of the fanfics I read, the emo-bastard usually becomes a semi-good person. Or in others Naruto gets to kill him.**

**Sasuke:****Would you people stop calling me emo! I am not emo!**

**Me:****Aw. Look people, he shows emotion. I wonder what would happen if I accused him of being interested in men?**

**Sakura:****If you do that, I'll crush you under a boulder. Got it?**

**Me:****(insert gulping sound and nod) Got it.**

**Sakura:****(points to Sasuke) And you! You are emo, so get over it!**

**Sasuke:****(nods quickly) Got it! **

**Me:****Well, now that I've had my threat for the day lets get on with the story. And yes, it is Sasuke-centric. I know, I know. Just deal with it.**

Everyday I think about it. About what could have been if I had stayed in Konoha. About if I had stayed with my team. My friends. My Family. I wonder what would happen if I went back tomorrow. Would I be welcomed back? Would I be executed for defecting? At the end though, I doesn't matter to me. The council could do what ever to me, as long as I got to speak to them. The one's I love and left behind.

I think about what I would say to them. I think about it whenever I don't train with the monster that plans to take my body. Not that I plan to let him. But that is for another day.

To my sensei, Kakashi. I would probably try to explain myself. I hope that he would understand. That I'm compelled to avenge my clan. I'd tell him that I knew what I was doing and went ahead with it anyway. I say to him "Now, after everything I've done, I realize what I've become", but he'll just stand there. He'll just nod at my words and tell me "I understand, but It's not my place to judge you."

And I'll nod back in understanding.

To the woman I love, Sakura. I'd try to explain to why I did it. To hope that maybe she could find it in her heart to forgive me. I'd look into her emerald green eyes and beg her to forgive me. I'd say to her "If you help me, I can change. I swear on my clan." That only her voice, her touch, and her love can save me. But she'd look me in the eye, shivering in hope but unable to accept my words right away. She'd say "I want to believe you, but I can't until you've proven yourself."

And I'll suck my breath in because I understand why.

Because the only person who can judge me and help me prove myself is the one person I've hurt the most.

My brother. My _true _brother, Naruto. This is were I stumble, where I can't think of anything to say. Where saying anything would be a waste. To try and explain myself in anyway while standing before him would shatter the bond between us. The bond I tried so hard to destroy. Not that I'd blame him.

After what I did to him, I deserve any type of punishment. But knowing him, he'd walk up to me without a care in the world. He'd stare me in the eye and just grin that stupid grin of his.

But I wouldn't deserve that. And I won't put them in that kind of position. If need be, I'll force them to kill me.

Because after I don't deserve redemption.

So I will continue to train with a monster so that one day I can kill him and Itachi. And if they hate me for it, I will endure it because I love them.

**Me:****Okay that's done. If it sucks, it Sasuke's fault. It hard to get inside the mind set of such a twisted emo.**

**Sasuke:****I thought I said to stop calling me that!**

**Me:****Your such a whiny little baby.Right Naruto?**

**Naruto:****Yeah he is. **

**Sasuke:****You little bastard! I'm the friend your ass is trying to save! You should be siding with me!**

**Naruto:****Well you are! And your proving his point by arguing! **

**Sasuke:****…………..fine.**

**Me:****Finally. Now that's settled, I can get back to work on other **_**more **_**important things than Saskue's emo-ness.**

**Saskue:****One day. You'll get it one day.**

**Me:****Yeah, I know. But until then, I'll keep using you as so much joke material. Don't you agree Itachi?**

**Itachi:****Both of my knee caps are broken you asshole! And now you want me to agree with you?!**

**Me:****Keep it up and I'll let Sasuke take out your elbows. That way, the giant piece of sushi can **_**hand feed**_** you. Got it?**

**Itachi:****(nods quickly) Yeah. I got it. (turns and vomits all over the ground at the thought).**

**Me:****This never get old. Until next time people.**


End file.
